I Used To Be In Love. Now I Do Jigsaw Puzzles. Let’s Just Fuck.

This body of work is the beginning of a three-part exhibition which explores the
process of finding my identity, sexuality, and developing my ego. The work
begins with my roots, being born into the Jehovah's Witness faith. The second
oldest in a family of 11, the desire to gain acceptance from my father drove me to
a devote myself to the religion. I rose in the ranks, working at the World
Headquarters and spending 8 years as a full time Pioneer, knocking on doors
with the intent of conversion.

These paintings are based on the experience of transformation and self
awakening that I went through in the early 2000’s when I left the religion. The
work carries a dialogue of personal movement through exploration and
discovery. The excitement of constant newness and the beginnings of a second
life and the first glimpse of finding out who I wanted to become. Even that there
was a possibility of change.

In San Francisco, alone for the first time in my life, I felt isolated. To gain a sense
of belonging, I attended exhibitions. It was a way of testing the waters to see
what I wanted my future to hold. Not knowing how to be me, or what I thought I
should be, I started painting. Through this awakening I felt a connection towards
a community and a lifestyle I had read of in Hemingway, Steinbeck, Fitzgerald,
Hesse and Bukowski. At the same time I entered into a strange glowing world of
sexuality.

This first collection of work embodies that metamorphosis from child to adult, boy
to man. That first swirl of desire that I allowed to naturally move to fulfillment. I
wanted to feel and experience everything possible. I longed to live beyond the
reach of daylight and San Francisco was a willing, delicious participant in my
moral revolt.

I hope you enjoy the color. The evolution. A reminder of first times, elation and
regrets that come with delirious midnight decisions. I hope you feel the slightest
change of breath in viewing these paintings as I felt in the moments that helped
create them.

More Works